Goodbye Sweet Life…Day 15

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Toot ta toot….imaginary drum roll..Bon Jovi voice, YAY, WE’RE HALFWAY THERE, WOA OH, LIVING ON A PRAYER…

Yes dear reader, it’s the halfway stage of my 30 day fast of white stuff..in an effort to cleanse my body and spirit. So far..IT SUCKS!!

I  didn’t realise how much I love my sugar n white bread till I started this exercise. ( Not together of course, although sugary white bread sounds lovely right now!)The fact that I am thinking about sweet things, chocolate, just STUFF about 65% of the time would suggest its not really a done deal that I am free from addiction..and that it is.

I also wanted to see if a “cleaner” body would affect my Spiritual life and so far I think it is..in a really positive way. I am far more focused on my Christian Faith – seeking God a lot more often than I am seeking wheat flour spaghetti or spelt laden spelt things!

I don’t know if its because my mind is clearer ( I take powerful daily medication which affects my brain, as well as morphine which can leave me drowsy and also anti anxiety drugs which leave me..well,  more anxious!) without sugar/white bread/white rice/flour etc – or if I am driven by my hunger pangs/cravings , all I know is the Almighty may be getting a little fed up with my squawking….

I really do try to make my conversations with God a positive experience for Him.

I start by thanking Him for being so AWESOME..for loving me..for giving me such amazing  boys to mother.. and my life to date..I Praise Him for Creation, agreeing with Him that it is good..I love to Pray for my family and my   friends, I am especially grateful for those who are standing with me and holding me up in Prayer and in practical LOVE as I journey through this tough time..people who I can count on whatever my needs, or in fact my moods ..I listen to the birdsong as I sit by the river at m y house and I just want to join in!! Those feathery flying machines can hold a tune or two…

I ask Him if He has any requests..that usually involves Praying for folks I have overlooked, or Praying for a nation or situation..God is always pretty well informed about current affairs…and then it happens…I drift into wondering if Jesus might help sort some problems for me.

I suggest He could supernaturally fill my bank account..which leads me to consider all the amazing travel opportunities that would open up and of course I consider my wardrobe..which leads to my frustration at my weight increase and general body deterioration caused by my ill health..immobility..and natural ageing process..I then moan to God that it’s not fair that I look so bad these days , as I have to take so much medication, can’t exercise, can’t sleep properly, hurt like a really sore thing EVERY  day, miss my walking ..which leads me to whine about my health..how I miss dancing..not in a professional way, just in a really cheesy, fun, dancing way..or how I wish I could go exploring some nearby caves I have read about..then I realise I am moaning again..so I apologise to God..then I feel bad for being so downbeat..then I realise I live in the 21st century and there is no birch handy to whip myself for being such a failure and I feel bad about talking about myself so much..and I wonder if He has anything to say..

AND HE HAS..

He reminds me He loves me. Completely. Thoroughly. Always. Yes, He agrees, I could change my focus a little..but there is no smiting..there is only Love. My focus could linger on Him, His Ways, His Thoughts, His view of me. He reminds me He thinks about me constantly and has gone ahead and prepared a place for me. He knows I am struggling..He sees the injustice in so many areas of my life. He also sees the bad choices I have made and the regrets and wrong turns..and He whispers to me, “Trust Me. I can make all things new”…I don’t feel bad anymore..I feel that warm, fuzzy , floaty feeling and I want more.He reminds me He is NEVER  leaving me. I am sorted!!!

This happens on a daily basis..you would think I would just learn to accept His reassurance and REJOICE..but no, I am majoring in the moan/sulk/whine/regret area of the Christian walk..or wheel..but I know God is with me..gently nudging me out…

 

Sooooo, where does that leave me, dear reader?

I am certainly growing- this fast is doing something right…I just hope it is not in dress sizes…

I know God is speaking to me and my Spiritual ears are open to Him…

Unfortunately my mouth is also open..searching for some peanut M&Ms to fill it..or perhaps  some Hallelujahs – they are sweet but definitely sugar free!!

Pray for me if you Pray ..and I will add you to my repertoire too.

Life is an adventure..its far sweeter with our Creator along for the ride.

SO, HALFWAY THERE INDEED…LETS SEE WHAT LIVING ON THESE PRAYERS BRINGS…

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5 thoughts on “Goodbye Sweet Life…Day 15

  1. I started the journey of gluten-free, refined-sugar free, and low glycemic lifestyle change this past February. At first, it was difficult to cleanse my pantry, as well as my body. At this point, it is still difficult if I eat out (good restaurants a whole lot easier than any on-the-go places). However, I feel better, have lost weight, and have more energy. Consider this a little encouragement.

    Second, I love the way you described your thought process. Just this morning, I was studying submission and, instead, came across the following statement by Wayne Grudem, “God uses illness to draw us closer to him and to increase in us our obedience to his will.” Hmm, it seems that there may be a “gift” of suffering. As you face your troubles with such faith, you are being sanctified (growing in likeness to Christ). I can see that growth in what you wrote on this post.

    Wheelchairs, medicine, pain, and disease may be a common thread in our lives, but our faith, hope, and love are stronger bonds. I am praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the double encouragement. The way we act and react to our temporary trials depends so much on our own choices..then allowing God to work in and through us.
      You are clearly surrendering this season of your life to Him – and allowing others to see the fruit.
      I especially appreciate your Prayers..thank you SO much. Blessings to you and yours. Praying, x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are so honest. It is such a difficult time in your life and it is hard to keep strong and believing God has everything under control. Praying constantly and thinking these prayers are not being answered is understandable(you are human!) However, you sound as if you are getting closer in this new path with God and each of you is listening to the other. That is so good to read. Loving the blogs. Be assured we are hurting for you, we too remember the cheesy dancing and the old Lorna. However, we love the new you and the courage, determination and spirit you show. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Libby- you are a real encourager and I very much appreciate it. This blog is so cathartic – and I think we Christians need to be honest. Thanks for reading it – and for your comments. I hope you are enjoying retirement with those wee feet up!!

      Like

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