Day 4 of my 30 day fast of sugar/ white bread/white rice/ anything yummy!!! ..I am now really over this fast- and started my morning having to resist my favourite coffeehouse, ( rhymes with Losta), trying to entice me with a new caramel sponge cake..Is there no mercy, I wonder dramatically to myself. Having JUST managed to resist and deny myself the chocolate sprinkled over the top of my frothy decaff cappuccino, I proceeded to have a meeting with the lovely, amazing Aileen who oversees the Chaplaincy to Ladies Football Clubs Ministry which I am part of. She is so sweet I soon forgot about gooey caramel sponges!!
Actually, meeting with her was such a great Blessing.
My quest over this 30 day fast is to cleanse my body AND my Spirit. I want to be able to enjoy the Peace I have experienced in the past ..my life is messy right now – I have very real physical and emotional hurts – I am struggling with chronic pain, isolation, fears, confusion ..not to mention side effects from my VERY strong medication…like mega weight gain and being a real trumpet trousers!!( I just mentioned it..excuse me..)..the fact that my “comfort” was coming from sweets and crisps rather than my Faith in and Friendship with God bothers me..and so, here I am Day 4 of a challenging fast with terrible cravings..but also a real strong sense of God working in me…for real!!
Aileen was so encouraging and able to advise me in my role as Chaplain, as well as listen to me while I shared my frustrations/fears/tears/concerns/problems/need for sugar before I kill someone….and we visited some charity shops too! (You were right, the bright yellow and green top with the white lace trim was a BARGAIN 😉 )
Next I spent time on the phone with my friend Jamie, reading the Bible and Praying for each other..I have a strong desire to shout “PRAISE THE LORD, HALLELUJAH” in a loud, joyful African voice – once again I have to do without! I was so happy to be able to express my gratitude to God and to ask Him to help me live my life His Way, ( mines appears to involve going round in circles with my eyes shut and losing my internal sat nav)..my Spirit is certainly getting fed well….
I am very far from “sorted” – but I am not reliant on me to fix me..that is God’s job! He has made it clear in His Word and in my life, that if I trust Him for EVERYTHING- He will provide JOY to stand on the mountain tops and STRENGTH to stand in the Valleys…
Wow..Day 4 is a deep one, huh?
I read one of my favourite books in the Bible today- Ephesians..and it says in Chapter 1,
“3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” Chapter 1 v 3-4
This just blows my mind that God chose us BEFORE He even made us ..or the world!!Now that’s forward planning!!! God has a Plan..when you decide to follow it, through accepting Jesus as your Saviour, you get changed, transformed, forgiven, loved as a daughter of the King…OH WOW..I so need to hear this today. I am all tingly as I type..and tingle typing is the best kind of communication there is …
SO….Cutting out a lot of the artificial rubbish is having a real positive impact on my Faith…but my body is protesting ..LOUDLY!
I am really struggling not to eat some of the “goodies” that are in the house..( well, I couldn’t insist my boys gave up their favourite foods too!)..no matter how healthy I know the spinach omelette I’m about to make is..I could still write poetry about the taste of the jammie dodger I can see sticking out of the biscuit barrel…meh…
As I am not letting any starving children down or causing the death of great litters of abandoned puppies if I cave in..I could just reach out n eat the aforementioned biscuit..BUT..and BUTT….I haven’t..and won’t..so far..
I have a gritty, Ayrshire born, Glasgow wed & divorced , determination ..or call it pig headedness..but I want to last 30 days..I want my body to breathe a little easier and with less sluggy glug inside me…
SO…..Get behind me jammie dodger..my heart is open for Jesus..and my mouth is closed for biscuits..for day 4 at least!!
Tune 4 today – Stuck In The Middle With You – Stealers Wheel