The candles were burning , a soft glow and sweet aroma filled the lounge. Fresh , colourful flowers bedecked the petal strewn table. My best gold runner added to the tasteful yet sparkling display of love and appreciation. Anticipation hung in the air. The cushions were plumped for the ninetieth time. It all had to be perfect. This is Valentines day. True love displayed through a meal cooked with care and attention to detail..plus precious time together at the banqueting table.
Steaks tenderised and seasoned, fresh veg n potatoes waiting obediently in their pots, the smell of freshly baked olive n sweet peppers bread wafting through as the dips sit waiting.
Nerves kick in..what goes in the oven when? Where is the little dish from Vilamoura that goes perfectly with the good dinner set? And then the doorbell goes. Put the presents on their place mat and open the door. Eyes meet, drinking each other in.Breath taken away by that rush of love . The one it’s all for. Lips meet, hungry to taste the love and assurance. The sound of kissing fills the air …….
And that was all I heard as my son and his girlfriend moved into my lounge to enjoy their feast while I sit upstairs writing this!!!
Valentines day again and for us singles it can feel like that horrible time in social dancing where nobody picks you and you either have to dance with the sleazy old music teacher or sit it out, ( gluing your bum to the chair and refusing to budge always the better option unless you enjoyed wrestling an octupus to the tune of the Skye Boat song!).
No cards, pressies, significant other, flowers or even some tangfastic haribos..and yet I despair not!
I have looked at all the lovely photos on face book of sweet Valentines day love fests, listened to my sisters share their February 14th pressie haul and all with genuine pleasure. I am glad there is so much celebration of each other, especially in marriages and loving relationships. Love is good and helps us let go of some of the rubbish we hold.about ourselves. I believe we are made in God’s image..we are all valuable and worth spoiling.
So why am I smiling? Especially as I am sitting here on my own? ( I may be carried off in a white van if I start humming n rocking too but I digress) And the wonderful smell of perfectly cooked steak and home made onion rings swoops tantalisingly up the stairs, making the fact I forgot to grab some food upstairs worse! I am in my son’s nice big room overlooking the river with only a glass of water and the tube of expensive shortbread with warming ginger my ex husband and his new wife gave me for Christmas? ( Every year I mean to get them something..but somehow forget to!)
I have had a bad health day , totally exhausted being sore all the time, yet I am as happy as Pharrell in a hat shop.
Yes, as I sit here in my over-sized mens multi coloured pyjama bottoms and my faithful long black cardy over my flowery 70s T-shirt,I would like a dinner date at a nice restaurant which would involve at least fixing my hair!( The high pony tail with a totally un matching scrunchy might need some taming!) – but I am almost completely content in my place of no Valentines cards…I can eat all the shortbread myself!
The reason I have such joy is my Faith. In particular, the above hair..MY hair!!
Without wanting to constantly talk sickness, part of the by product of being on so much medication and my body being under such stress, was that my hair was thinning. And falling out. In clumps. Now of all the unpleasant side effects, this one hit the vanity button ….despite all my chat of knowing real beauty is within, I HATED the fact I may be going bald. (Please hear me on this – baldness is beautiful & one of my friends wears it so wonderfully well, Sharon positively glows with a stunning look that matches her stunning personality. Gail Porter too. I just personally did not want it!!)
I wept, worried,waited. Every time I pulled my fingers through, out came another tuft. Wah…..
Then I remembered a favourite couple of verses in the Bible , Luke 12 v 6-7
6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
So…God thinks I am worth more than many sparrows..hhhmm..knows the number of my hairs on my head..hmmm…..well, He must also know I want to hang on to the little blighters a bit longer.( The fly away hairs, not the fly away sparrows!) So I Prayed. Often. Every day. For my hair to grow back in. Yes,I asked for an end to the trouble in Afghanistan and Ukraine. I Prayed for Healing for sick people,houses for homeless people, money for impoverished people……but I also Prayed every single day that God would encourage me with new hair growth. Little feathery strands that would grow to glossy locks. And He answered.
What the heck has this got to do with Valentines day I hear you cry? Well, I may be lacking in the other half department..but I am encompassed in LOVE.
God has shown me that He CARES!!! Even for something as ridiculous as my thinning hair!
Whilst wise theologians would be able to explain what they consider those Bible verses to mean..all I know is God cares! My hair is not quite rivalling those Loreal ladies YET..but Cheryl may well have to shake in her Jimmy Choos soon 😉
Encouraged by this, I count my Blessings..not my Valentine cards!
I have great kids who make me laugh and learn, amazing friends who hug like Baloo when needed, a strong Faith that gives me purpose, a gumball machine that lights up and plays tunes and a head full of ideas to tell stories… I AM BLESSED.
So, Valentines day for me has been FUN…Full of sleep , shortbread, sweet smells and good chats with great friends.
Prayer is not complicated. It is Trusting God and chatting freely. Does He answer every whimsical Prayer?..well, NO because I am STILL three dress sizes bigger and without those L.A teeth…but as I place the final toffifee in my mouth, I just cant help but feel the love….
Now, what shall I get the ex and his wife for Christmas? Some spare chocolate hearts perhaps….
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY…IF YOU ARE READING THIS, GOD N I LOVE YOU 🙂